Dear Abby: Dear Abby: I am 66 years old and have been diagnosed with moderately aggressive prostate cancer. I will start radiation therapy soon. My wife knows about it and has been very supportive, but we have not shared it with my children, siblings, relatives or friends.
One of the reasons for keeping quiet was that my daughter-in-law was expecting their first child, and I didn't want to ruin their joy. Now the baby is here, and I'm still not comfortable informing them. What is your opinion? Should I tell them, keep it a secret or let my wife tell them afterward, should I not survive the treatment?
-- Secretive in California
Dear Secretive: To tell or not to tell is a very personal decision. It might depend upon your reason for not wanting anyone to know about your diagnosis. Consider tabling the announcement until you have started treatment and see how challenging it may (or may not) be.
If you need emotional support, you may want to tell those close to you what's going on or join a cancer support group. It would be unfair to your wife to make her delay informing your children, siblings, relatives, etc. until after you are gone because she would be blamed for keeping your condition from them.
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