I realize a good chunk of the Eden Prairie population does not use our tiny,
tired Community Center. That is I suppose the nature of a place that
emphasizes just four or five activities. If you do not play or participate
in one of those activities, you have little chance to drop by and nose
around.
Any grumbling about paying the piper for this place by those who never use
it will receive an immediate and firm rebuke from me, however. "Tough
cookies," I say. I stick my tongue out in your general direction. This town
needs a quality Community Center and we will all benefit from youth and
adults who spend time there.
My tongue should be able to stay firmly in place. The voters approved about
seven million for the expansion back in 2005. But I want to get everyone
prepared for the idea that what the city needs to do to make it a complete
facility could cost a bit more. I am plenty pragmatic, but I want to spend
what it will take to make it attractive and functional. Kind of like the new
fire station off 312, but with a pool and skating rinks; no trucks.
When I moved to town back in '89, I frequented the Community Center for the
occasional weekend workout. The exercise room was upstairs and it was pretty
awful. It had some free weights and a couple of old treadmills but the fees
were reasonable and with my travel schedule at the time a club membership
just did not make sense.
There was one drawback. At 4 p.m. each weekend day a sweaty lady named Bette
came in. She was a well-known "grunter" who made loud noises while
completing her four sets of leg squats. If she ate spicy food the night
before it was "Katie bar the door," let me tell you.
The workout area has moved to the main floor to the north of the snack bar,
and yes, that is ironic. It is now a delightful place with televisions in
front of the new treadmills and a separate room for Bette to grunt. The wife
and I sometimes play a little racquetball in one of the two nearby courts.
This is where she takes out her frustration by trying her darnedest to pelt
me in the fleshy part of my thigh with a forehand smash. Wouldn't Freud have
a field day with that?
What does the expansion and renovation of the center mean to EP? It means we
can finally have a decent facility for hockey, open skating, swimming,
fitness and racquetball. A place we can be proud of. A place to engage even
more youth who may choose to lift weights rather than play Guitar Hero for
10 hours straight (see last article).
What changes will take place? First, a badly needed third rink (partially
paid for by the EP Hockey Association) will be added. Second, it sounds like
the entrance will be gutted and made to look inviting and pleasant instead
of how it looks now, like the induction area of Shawshank Prison.
The fitness center and concession area should also see improvements that
will hopefully lead to more use by EP youth and adults. But the improvement
I am most excited about is the plan for some sort of men's and women's
locker rooms.
You see, after my wife runs me ragged on the racquetball court and we hit
the weights and treadmills for a bit, we often sashay to a local watering
hole for a victory soda. Because of my efforts with the racquet I usually
need to put on a clean T-shirt. I used to do this in the men's restroom, but
a middle-aged dad standing in the can with his shirt off is just not right,
even if it is just for two seconds. I now quickly take off and put on new in
the weight room when no one is looking.
But last time I pulled the shirt switch, Bette was in the middle of one of
her squats and I swear to you, I think she winked at me.
Bring on that locker room. Fast.
Eden Prairie resident Steven Stromberg's humor column appears twice monthly.